Honey I'm Home

Well, it's been a while hasn't it?! I missed writing but haven't made the time for it.  I'm back now.  At least for a little while.

So let me get right to it!

1) I'm not going to spend an hour or three writing the perfect blog posts.  I just need to talk.  To express myself.  To talk about how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking.  I suppose I always found it easier to write it.  Especially when it's a blog and I feel like no one is really going to read it.  And if by chance someone does, perhaps something I say will help them in some way.

2) I'm going to attempt to write shorter blog posts than I used to when I used to write about 12 years ago every morning.

So... hopefully tomorrow or whenever I post next I'll get into my life a little more.

xoxo

Healing in Bali

While in Bali this November I wanted to see a healer.  Both for physical - joint pain, back pain, PCOS/hormone imbalances, foot pain, and more. And also emotional reasons - help with motivation, and also my boyfriend and I were in the process of a break up and it would be nice if it was easier on me. I did a little bit of searching online before hand of who to see and came up with two. So I went to see both with my boyfriend-ish.

I first went to see Tjokorda Gde Rai since we didn't require an appointment to see him.  We were the only ones there upon arrival as it was still early.  Tjokorda Rai was so kind.  His english was pretty good and his smile just lit up his whole face.  He saw my boyfriend first.  He touched his head and ears and told him much of what he was struggling with.  He then lay down on the mat and he poked and prodded his toes.  

Once it was my turn I didn't feel he was very thorough with me to be honest.  He looked at me and asked if I had kids.  I said no.  He asked me to lay down on the mat right away without even touching my head.  He knew there was something wrong with my menstruation which of course having PCOS there certainly is.  He stuck a stick in between one of my toes which hurt, and worked on me a bit and came up and whispered in my ear that I need to talk to him and he motioned to my boyfriend. Tjokorda Rai really wanted me to have kids, despite me really NOT wanting kids at all! He told me to stop taking the medication and take omega 3 instead.  He spent about 5-10 minutes with me and told me next time I come back there will be 3 people instead of two.  Funny considering if I go back to Bali, I might consider just going alone!  

I don't not recommend Tjokorda Gde Rai, but know that he doesn't spend a lot of time with you. It was a lovely experience and if he had spent another few minutes with me trying to figure out what I needed I would have felt a bit better.  It's by offering, and between the two of us we left 450,000 IDR.

The second healer we went to see was Nyoman Arya Dunung aka Pak Man who is located in a village just north of Ubud.  This guy is amazing, however it's important to know that you'll likely leave exhausted.  Pak Man spends much more time with you.  He spent about an hour and a half with each of us.  First we sat down with him and his partner Lucinda who is British and absolutely lovely! She also translates for him as his english isn't very good.  You have to come with clear instructions of what issues you want to deal with when you go to see him.  They go over everything with you in details prior to your treatment.  Once that's completed each one of use went with him into his private treatment area.  I sit on the mat and he begins by taking a q-tip dipping it in something and then writing on my tongue with it.  After, he started working on my feet first which is a constant problem area for me.  He touches every area on my feet and locates every single tiny issue I have. He works on my legs and moves up to my stomach area.  He sticks his fingers in my belly button and I'm pretty sure he's trying to poke a hole right through my body cause man does it hurt!  He massages my organs and presses on my kidney and I pretty much wanted to cry in pain.  Now I have to admit I have a pretty low tolerance for pain, and I knew he had figured that out and was trying to take it easy on me. He asked me to drink some medicine which tasted pretty gross like water with some kind of essential oil. I struggled through it and he tried to get me to finish it but I left a small amount at the end I just couldn't stomach anymore.  He poured it on my head and rubbed it into me.  He worked on my body more and cracked my back very lightly which felt great and was much needed.  At one point during the session I suddenly felt very emotional and wanted to cry, it was as if something was released. Following the session I went back to the sitting area and he talked to me about what he had done with Lucinda translating.  There were a lot of bloackages he said which he had tried to tell me during the session itself.  He had gotten rid of them.  He said my kidney is functioning properly and that I HAVE to drink more water and it will get better.  He also said there was some darkness but he got rid of it for me, and that I need to find my peace.  

Both my boyfriend and I were exhausted by the end of this and throughout the whole day we were both very tired as it had taken a lot of energy to get through this.  We both wish we had gone to see him sooner though so we could have seen him more than one time while we were there. 

I definitely recommend going to see Pak man.  The cost is 500,000 IDR (about $50 CAD) It was worth it for sure. For an appointment please call 081 338 935 369

So where do I go from here, Omega 3, more water, and find my peace. With my relationship ending and my boyfriend moving out I know that I will soon be able to find my peace once again. 

Laya Spa & Yoga Review

I'm still trying to process the events of what just happened.  I'm pretty sure it was magic!  My amazing sweet boyfriend wanted to get me a facial as a gift.  I haven't gotten a facial in perhaps a decade or so.  My skin would always be super red afterwards and it just didn't appeal to me.  I did a lot of research and read a lot of reviews before deciding on Laya Spa on Queen St. W.  I opted for the Ayurveda Facial because I liked the idea of using all natural ingredients instead of the crappy chemical filled gunk most places use.

I called to find out more information about the service and pricing and spoke with a few different woman.  Each were incredibly helpful, patient, thorough, and friendly.  It didn't feel like I was being rushed off the phone.  That pretty much sold me on the place.

The place is BEAUTIFUL.  For a small spa they really have done something incredible with it! The atmosphere is clean and calming and really attractive.

I started in the steam room for 30 minutes which is included in the facial.  It was amazing.  Very relaxing and I LOVE the heat!

Following that Alice took me into the room to begin the facial.  She asked me to hang my things up and lay on the table. I've never done a naked facial before but I'm game for most things so I was fine with it. She left for a while, and the wonderful subtle smells in the room and the spa-style Bob Marley music near put me to sleep.  I should mention that I'm really sensitive to smells but the smell in the room was nice and not overpowering.   Alice came back and began the magic.

I can't tell you exactly what she did but it involved a lot of amazing massaging of my upper chest, back, arms, and abdomen .  She did a light extraction which wasn't painful. It involved a great deal of hot towels on my chest, face and back. Heaps of delicious smells.  A mask made of chocolate, turmeric, honey, and probiotics. I honestly could have licked my face until it was clean and felt very happy about it! Apparently each person get's something different and tailored to their body type.  She used Aloe and rose water and some other stuff that was light.

When I was done I went to change, and they brought in some freshly squeezed grapefruit juice for me which I downed and it was delicious!

My only few things that would make this absolutely perfect would be larger robes for the steam room.  I asked if they had but they didn't.  I'm a big girl with lots of hip and the robe only covered one leg.  The other thing would be to clean the marble on the entrance to both the steam room and the shower.  The whole place is REALLY clean but those two areas didn't look it although the steam room and shower itself were spotless.  And lastly I like to know information and what's happening.  Perhaps other people just like quiet and like to relax, but I would have liked if Alice had told me what she was doing and putting on me.  I just find stuff like that interesting.  But she was honestly so amazing in every way that this is just me nit picking and who cares!  I'm still in heaven, super relaxed and my skin looks incredible and is so soft!

Thank you Alice and Laya Spa for this amazing experience.  I will definitely be back! And I will tell all my friends!!

Who would I be? My feelings on the conflict in the Middle East

In 1942, 13 Jozefińska St. in the Jewish Ghetto in Krakow, Poland was home to the Jewish resistance movement. On April 30, 2008 at 1:09 PM I stood in front of this very place, now painted in a bubblegum pink. After spending the last few months learning about pre-WWII European Jewry, I had now spent the last 4 days in Poland. I had seen extermination centres where millions of Jews were murdered, large holes in the ground in the middle of forests where there were mass graves,  rooms filled with toothbrushes and hairbrushes taken from those Jews arriving by train before they were sent to be gassed. Each day was more difficult emotionally than the last. I had learned about so many ways that Jews resisted.  Everything from not removing their hats when Nazi soldiers walked by, having babies in the Ghettos to prove that they would carry on, and of course the resistance movements all over Europe, people who fought back.  I remember very clearly the thoughts that were going through my head as I stood in front of this apartment. They were people, not trained military soldiers or police officers, they were just normal people… people like me. Men and woman who stood up and said, “NO MORE”.  And I questioned, I questioned myself – who would I have been? Would I be one of those people who went like sheep to the slaughter?  Would I try and hide who I was? Would I fight?  Would it be in a forest sleeping on the cold ground, or maybe in a city hiding in an apartment, maybe in one just like the one in front of me? 6 years later I still ask myself the same question. I know I will never actually be able to know what person I would have been had I been alive in 1942, but as I get older I do know what kind of person I don’t want to be. I will not be one of those people who ignore what is happening and goes on with my daily life.  I may not enlist myself in the army, but I will fight for what I think is right in whatever way I am capable of.

These last few weeks have been trying for me.  They have been scary, exhausting, mind-boggling, and upsetting.  Which part of me thinks is semi-ridiculous of me to feel that way. I live in Canada. I don’t have sirens wailing overhead or missiles landing near my home. But, I do have friends and family in Israel living with the threat of death on a daily basis.  This threat is not something that has just begun in the last few weeks. From 1993-2012 there were approximately 161 suicide bombings and Palestinian terrorist attacks on Israel, and since 2001, more than 16,000 rockets and mortars have been fired into Israel. Hamas is responsible for most of the rocket fire on Israeli population centers.  If you are unsure who Hamas is, they are the ruling entity of the Gaza Strip.  They formed in 1987 and are recognized by the US, UK, EU, Canada, Jordan, Egypt, Japan, and Israel as a terrorist organization.  Their goal is to obliterate Israel by whatever means necessary and establish an Islamic state in the area that is now Israel, Gaza, and the West Bank. They also want to kill all the Jews.

I love Israel.  It is a beautiful country – I love the Golan most. There is amazing food – I dream of the chocolate rugelach from Martzipan at least once a week! There is incredible culture, amazing history, wonderful inventions, interesting museums, fabulous skin care products, but I especially love the people.  The passion and love they have is remarkable.  They are vocal and opinionated and don’t sugar coat things, they also are kind, generous, and have an incredible lust for life. But, just like I speak up against the Canadian government when it does something I don’t like, I too speak up against the Israeli government if it does something that I don’t like.  This however, is not one of those times. I make my decisions on a case by case basis, and make them based on what I believe is right, just, and moral.  Israel is like your child. Your child doesn’t always behave in the way you want them to, but you still love them.  That’s how I feel, I don’t always think everything Israel does is right but I still love the country and I love the people. 

Over the last few weeks I have been posting a lot of links, images, and videos on Facebook about what is happening in Israel.  I post them because I think it’s important for people to know the truth about the situation as supposed to just hearing what the main stream media wants you to know.  The main stream media is biased and is failing our society on a daily basis.  Not just about the conflict in the Middle East, but about many things that are happening all over the world. The media is a for profit business where someone(s) are benefiting. Please, turn off your television and seek other sources of information!

There are a lot of people out there who take one side or the other, and there are a lot of people who just don’t know or don’t care about what’s happening.  There are people who dislike what is happening and want it to stop because it’s horrible.  YES, of course it’s horrible!  War, any way you look at it is horrible.  And what’s happening in Israel and Gaza is war.  There are always innocent causalities during war. The sad thing about this war is that it is necessary.  It’s not about oil, power, or money, but it’s about the security of the people in Israel.

I am hippie at heart.  If I could dance around in a flowing skirt with flowers in my hair and no bra protesting against war, I would – but only if I didn’t understand why this war in Israel exists.  Do I hate war and violence? Of course I do!  But what I hate more is when my friends and family who are just trying to live their lives, go to work, go to school, go to get ice cream from Iceberg with their friends, and are just trying to live peacefully are under siege on a daily basis and have 15 seconds to find shelter when an unwarranted missile from Gaza flies overhead.

I want to make it clear that I do not hold anything against anyone because of where they were born or the colour of their skin or whatever god they choose to pray to.  I do not dislike or have anything against Palestinians, Arabs, or Muslims. In fact, my boyfriend – he is Egyptian. His family is Muslim, and I love him to pieces and adore his family! What I do however dislike, are the actions of those that are fundamentalist Muslims, Jews, Christians, or anyone that chooses to act in any fanatical way that puts the safety, freedom, or happiness of another person or people in jeopardy.

There are some people who I feel sad for because they blindly follow their friends’, family’s or the main stream media’s views and end up believing in something that isn’t truth or is incredibly biased. But, you are entitled to your beliefs even if they differ from mine.  What I do ask is that instead of just listening to the news and assuming you know what’s going on or just not caring to know, do some research.  Ask questions.  Ask why. Start talking to people who are learned and people who live there.  Ask them questions that they can answer objectively.  Don’t talk to fundamentalists on any side.  Talk to intelligent people who can be honest even if it means criticizing the side they generally align with.  It’s okay not to be a die-hard!

If you have no idea what’s been going on right now in the Middle East here is a very short and simplified synopsis.

On June 12 three Israeli teenagers were kidnapped. Soon after the kidnapping, terrorist organizations praised the attack and urged Palestinians to hamper the IDF’s efforts to locate the boys. Senior Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad officials have called for the kidnapping of more Israelis, with the insidious intention of trading them for convicted terrorists. Upon hearing of the abduction, Palestinians handed out candy in the streets and posted messages lauding the incident on social media sites. A Facebook campaign was initiated expressing support for the terrorist kidnapping. Dozens changed their Facebook profiles, posting pictures of three fingers meant to represent the abducted teens. On June 30 the three teenagers’ bodies were found in Hebron. It is still unknown who committed the kidnapping and murder. Hamas has neither accepted nor denied responsibility. 

Shortly after a Palestinian teenager was abducted and killed by three Jewish extremists in revenge. Jews in Israel expressed empathy and sorrow. The Israeli government condemned the actions and promised the father of the Palestinian teenager that the killers would be brought to justice. Within the week 6 were arrested and 3 confessed to killing the teenager. Grieving Palestinians were welcomed in to the home of the family of one of the murdered Israelis, and family members on both sides drew comfort in each other.

After continual and relentless rocket attacks on Israeli cities since the beginning of 2014, and heightened attacks on Israeli civilians since the murders of the teenagers, the IDF was forced to launch Operation Protective Edge.  The single goal of the operation was to stop Hamas’ incessant rocket attacks against Israel’s civilians. The operation is ongoing, and over 2450 rockets have been launched at Israel since July 8th. Of those, most have hit Israel and many were intercepted by the Iron Dome Missile defense system.

In response to these rocket attacks, the IDF has targeted over 1,474 terror targets using precision attacks to pinpoint terrorists and terror infrastructure while limiting civilian casualties. The IDF works to the best of its ability to limit civilian casualties by providing warnings of strikes up to several days in advance and multiple times prior to striking. Throughout the operation, the IDF has gathered more evidence that Hamas takes advantage of the densely populated Gaza Strip and civilian population to protect themselves and their missiles. It is a well known fact that Hamas uses civilians as human shields. Hamas stores explosives and weapons in and around schools, mosques, residential homes, and other civilian infrastructures.

During this ground war, Israel has uncovered at least 36 tunnels below the ground – an underground Gaza, and has already begun destroying them. There are tunnels that burrow into Egypt which allowed Hamas to funnel in resources, guns, and rockets until the Egyptians sealed off many of them. There are also security tunnels for Hamas leadership and their families, and lastly tunnels going into Israel. Finding these tunnels has resulted in the discovery of plans for future operations, and seizing tons of Hamas supplies and even IDF uniforms. The network of tunnels uses hundreds of tons of concrete that might otherwise have been used by the Palestinians for building homes, parks, schools, shopping malls, hospitals, and libraries. It also indicates that Hamas had been preparing for an ongoing conflict for a very long time.

The maze of tunnels and access shafts appears to weave its way throughout much of the Gaza Strip. Access points are reportedly found in homes, mosques, public buildings, and other places. In the last week, two discoveries of missile caches have been found in UN schools that most likely arrived via tunnel. Many of these tunnels lead to kibbutzim and communities in the south of Israel. Under kindergartens, dining rooms, and one tunnel was even found that ended only meters under a baby’s nursery.

During questioning of captured terrorists, information has been discovered that Hamas had been plotting a terror attack of catastrophic proportions to take place on one of the holiest days of the year for Jews - on Rosh Hashanah – the Jewish New Year. Hundreds of terrorists were planning on simultaneously using these tunnels to make their way into these communities to slaughter and abduct entire populations. A massacre of colossal proportions. Tens of thousands of people could have been senselessly slaughtered had these tunnels not been found.

In Europe, even here in Canada, and all over the world, anti-Semitism is on the rise. Anti-Semitism was always there, it’s not a new thing, but it’s certainly not getting any better.  Swastikas on bus stops, signs popping up at stores and restaurants – “No Jews Allowed”, windows of Jewish owned stores being shattered, their businesses destroyed, even Facebook groups popping up where Jewish people in a community and their pictures are being posted with the encouragement of hate crimes and even murder. It’s like Nazi Germany 1935 all over again.  

I struggle with the answer to why this is happening.  Someone, a Jew of all people, the other day actually had the gall to tell me it’s because Israel claims to speak for all Jews.  It made me so sad the misinformation that this guy must have been fed to make him believe this. Jews make up less than 0.2% (two tenths of one percent) of the population in the world. We are an easy target because anti-Semitism has existed for centuries. It’s easy to harness these old prejudices and revive them.

The main stream media doesn’t help by showing one sided numbers and facts.  For example, the alleged number of Palestinians killed during this operation has just exceeded 1000. I say alleged because firstly, the source has a tendency to lie. Hamas governs Gaza, including the health ministry, which is the primary source for casualty statistics that are being reported.  There has certainly been some discrepancy. Secondly, several rockets launched from Gaza aimed at Israel fell short and ended up killing many of their own, including one which hit a UN school and killed 17 and wounded 200 others. Approximately 20-30 percent of Hamas rockets have landed or exploded inside Gaza resulting in an unknown amount of these total deaths. The Israeli death toll has risen to 43.  If you just look at those numbers why wouldn’t you think Israel is specifically targeting civilians?! The number of civilians who have died is a great tragedy. But many of those deaths could have been avoided if Hamas leaders had not urged Gazans to ignore IDF warnings to leave a combat zone despite repeat warnings from the IDF.  Hamas’ strategy is designed to force the IDF to kill innocent civilians so the rest of the world will condemn Israel.  They place rockets in schools, hospitals, mosques, and playgrounds. They shuttle terrorists in ambulances, and use civilians as human shields to either attempt to prevent attacks or to use images of their death as propaganda and to incite hate against Israel. Hamas is bad for Israel, but it’s also bad for Palestinians. They want to see the murder of their own people.

Some people say the rocket attacks are the fault of a supposed occupation.  I hate to burst your bubble people, but there is no occupation.  Israel dismantled its military administration on its own accord in 2005 in Gaza with no stipulations.  They forcibly evicted all Israeli residents and they withdrew every last soldier.  They no longer occupy the territory by any legal definition or other sense of the term. In addition, Israel even left all their buildings, businesses, and green houses for the Palestinians in hopes that they would utilize them and prosper.  They only destroyed a synagogue for fear of desecration, and moved the bodies from a cemetery and reburied them to where their families chose and gave them second funerals.  Instead of using these buildings and green houses to further their lives, Palestinian mobs looted and destroyed the green houses and anything left by the Israelis for them to use.

Hamas runs its own police, courts, jails, schools, media, and social services. They regulate business activities, banks and land registries. They have their own taxes and even impose a dress code. Hamas operates a fully functioning and independent local government.

Israel controls the water and electricity.  Instead of Hamas spending their money on building power plants, they spend it on building missiles and bombs.  Gaza gets 24 hours with no limitations on water, and in Gaza City they get 24 hours of electricity a day and in the Gaza Strip it was reduced to 8 hours a day because when it was 24 hours a day many bombs were being built.  Gaza owes Israel $3 million in fees for electricity, yet Israel doesn’t cut them off, instead Israeli citizens end up paying higher and higher amounts every year to compensate for Gazans not paying their bills.

Gaza's borders are controlled by Israel to the north and Egypt to the south. If Israel's control of Gaza's borders constitutes an element of occupation, then does that mean that Gaza is under Egyptian occupation, or under a joint Israeli-Egyptian occupation? Of course not! The only occupation in Gaza is by Hamas.

Until Hamas is destroyed, no one is safe. Not in Israel, Gaza, or around the world.  There are fanatics that side with Hamas and its charter everywhere. A common slogan is “First we get rid of the Saturday people, then we get rid of the Sunday people.” Saturday being the Jews, Sunday being the Christians. So if you think they’re not coming for you next, you’re in for a big surprise.

I long for the day that Israeli’s – Jews, Arabs, and Christians alike can live in Israel in peace without sirens or rockets flying overhead.  I want so badly for the Palestinians to be safe.  Safe from their brutal leaders who don’t care about them and want them dead for the sake of winning a religious and media driven war. I wish for them to understand that Israel and Jews around the world don’t want them dead, we want them alive.  We want them to flourish, to have businesses, to own homes, and most importantly to be happy and safe. We want to live in this world with them in peace.

So, 6 years after standing in front of 13 Jozefińska St., I ask myself who am I?  I’m that person that will continue to post about the conflict in the Middle East all over Facebook. I’m fighting the war from my computer because it’s what I feel I can do to help.  I do this because I want you to know.  I want you to learn what is really happening out there.  I want you to open your eyes and to understand that everyone there is a victim, the Israelis and the Palestinians. They are both victims of Hamas. So if you ask me to choose a side my choice isn’t against the Palestinians, it’s just that it’s for Israel, because they have the want and the capability to destroy Hamas - those violent sociopathic barbaric extremists.  And while hate towards the Israelis goes beyond Hamas we deal with what’s in front of us now.  My thoughts go out to all the people of Palestine that are dying or whose lives are being destroyed as a result of their leadership.  And of course, my love and thoughts go out to my Israeli brothers and sisters who are living with daily threat to their lives by terrorists and who are fighting to protect the security of Israel and all its people, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Druze, Buddhists, Samaritans, Hindus, those who are non-religious, and all others who chose to make the wonderful land of Israel their home.  May there be an end the conflict soon and peace in the region. 

Byblos - I've been dreaming of you

Byblos Restaurant
11 Duncan St.
Toronto, ON M5V3M2
Telephone:(647) 660-0909
Website
Menu
Ridiculously Extravagant Dinner for 2 - $200
Rating: 5 out of 5

Last year I went to Cocktail Parlor, and was amazed by the food.  Then I found out they closed and so I hunted down the chef to see if he had another restaurant.  Lo and behold, Executive Chef Stuart Cameron was doing his thing in the very same building at Byblos.  I love middle eastern food, so I was so excited to try it, and lucky me after talking about it for a few months my boyfriend surprised me for our 6 month lunaversary last month!

You can either order a large plate and eat a meal, or you can go tapas.  We decided to go tapas so that we can try more dishes.

Our Plates:
Basturma Egg: Get this. Just do it.  It was one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten!  My boyfriend said it took him back 20 years to his childhood in the middle east! I asked for the egg a little bit cooked more because I find runny egg repulsive and they were able to accommodate me.  BF wanted to order another one and our server was like.. wait.. you have lots more food coming... and oh boy did we ever!

Duck Kibbeh: The spices in this were like BAM! It was delicious! The texture was perfect, we both just wanted to eat more.

Steak Tar Tar: The STT was very good.  Not mind blowing like the rest of the meal, but very good.  If you like STT then get it.  The Barbari bread on the other hand.. I wanted more!  It was sooo delicious!

Yogurt Baked Fluke: This... I'm not totally in love with fish usually, I can eat it here or there, but our server highly recommended it, so I got it.. I bow down to him.  It was... just wow! Yes.

Dry Aged Ribeye: Very good.  Pales in comparison to the fish, but very good.

Hand Rolled Couscous: I took a bite.  Then I had to stop eating and breath.  The browned butter in this.. OMFG! It was overwhelmingly phenomenal! I was seriously blown away, and I almost cried. I'm not kidding.  It was just the greatest! It made me so happy.  It was like love had been injected into this dish.

Sweet Jeweled Basmati Rice: This is the most beautiful dish you will ever see in your life.  The colours and textures and tastes.  It's a masterpiece!  You must get this.  Don't ask me any questions, just do what I say!

Our Desserts:
Kanafeh: The ice cream on this was awesome!!  The Kanafeh itself we found a little dry.  It was.. fine.

Crispy Qatayef: These were delicious.  Cute little dumpling morsels of goodness.  Yum!

Our Drinks:
Gulab: I'm not much of a drinker but decided to celebrate, and yummy yummy!  What a choice.  This beautiful glass was filled with mostly ice and a pretty flower, but the drink that was inside was delicious, and I nursed the ice for a while since it still had some of the taste of the spices!

Some citrus drink: I forget the name: It was excellent!  I think I may have even liked it better than the Gulab. My server recommended this one since it was light on alcohol flavour and heavy on awesomeness.

Some Ginger Drink: BF says when I asked him just now how he liked it.. he said very excitedly "Oh ya... the drink was great!".

The service was outstanding! The atmosphere was simple, elegant, and beautiful!

We're going back in a few weeks for another celebration and we can't wait!  It's all we've been talking about for a month!

GOOOOOO.

The best no aluminum under arm deodorant ever!

Okay, so I need to promote a product for a moment. I have a particularly strong sense of smell. My boyfriend's is even stronger! And perhaps like some other people by the end of the day I'm smelly. Sometimes I hug people low just to keep my arms down. I'm not scared to admit it, it's just fact. But I still smell, and my deodorant is just not working for me anymore. So I've been trying to find a better deodorant. It's also important to me to find a more natural one that doesn't contain heaps of nasty chemicals in it.

After a lot of research and reading reviews I decided on one called Lavilin. No aluminum or alcohol. But check this interesting part out... It's supposed to last 72 hours. Ya right! I decided if it worked at all and lasted a day I would be thrilled. So I went to buy one at my local health food store and the only downfall is the hefty price tag. I paid $17 for deodorant! Seriously! But after using it for about a week, I don't regret it for a moment and will continue to use it until it stops working for me! The smell is amazing and not too strong, I got the stick and it goes on smooth. And I haven't exactly got up to 72 hours but I have got up to almost 48. I put it on Monday morning and by Tuesday night I still smell pretty good.

So if you're looking for a new deodorant check this one out!
http://www.lavilin.com/products/deodorant/roll-on-deodorant.html

A new life has begun

Life is interesting.  It can change in an instant.  5 months ago I had had enough of online dating, I didn't trust people, and I just wanted to get out of town.  So I did.  I left the city for two months, mostly just to avoid winter.  

2 weeks before I left, I met someone.  This great amazing man who swept me off my feet. Who in a span of 2 weeks completely turned my life around.  It was totally unexpected to say the least. 

2 days after I got home from my trip, he had moved into my 1 bedroom apt.

How on earth did this happen?  People always say when it's right you just know.  I thought that was just an annoying cliche.  Turns out they might have been onto something!

So here I am.  May 2014.  New partner, new business, new life.  

Am I happy. Yes. 

Am I exhausted. Definitely!

I love this man, but people forget to mention that shacking up with another person adds a whole other set of rules and responsibilities to your life.  Not to mention, twice the plans, twice the amount of grocery shopping, and more than twice the decisions that need to be made. 

I'm really tired.  I'm so tired I'm struggling to finish this post!  

I think I'm going to rinse out this dye from my hair and then go to bed early tonight. 

Perhaps I'll write more when I can function a little bit better. 

xoxo

Lonely on Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians.  I hope your life is filled with many wonderful and happy moments and incredible people who love you.

Now, on to my regularly scheduled blogging.

So, don't get me wrong, my life is amazing! In fact it's freaking awesome! I have a great home, friends who love me, a wonderful family, I'm a good cook, and I have enough work to survive, I get to travel, I live in an amazing country where I am mostly free to make my own decisions about my life, I have my health, and there is so much more I am incredibly grateful for.  Life is good.

But as I sat on my balcony this evening eating the delicious Thanksgiving dinner I made for myself, listening to Meet the Parents ('fill those awkward silences during dinner with these cool, dad approved songs from the '60's, '70's, and '80's') playlist on Songza, staring at the beautiful sunset over the water, I was happy and grateful for such a good life.  I recognize how lucky I am and do often even on days that aren't Thanksgiving!  Yet, there is something missing in my life. I feel lonely. I try not to think about it often, but I suppose when you think about what you do have, it's hard to also not think about what you are missing.

I sometimes wonder if I've ever really known love at all.  I know I felt like I was in love, but when I look back, I've know infatuation, I've know lust, I've known very strong like, I've known heartache, but when I think about my past relationships, I've never had anyone who has shown me what I think love is.  There hasn't been anyone who has fought for me, who has respected me always, who has made me first or even third priority in their life.  Perhaps the reason I am alone is because what I'm looking for just doesn't exist.

I could write a 50 paragraph blog on how I feel about love and loneliness, but I don't really feel like it right now.  Perhaps I'll revisit it at another time.  For now I'll leave you with this song while I go wash the dishes.

Kanji - Sushi Restaurant & Sake Bar

Kanji - Sushi Restaurant & Sake Bar

1346 Queen St. W.

Toronto ON M6K 1L4.

Telephone:416-536-8448

Website

Menu

Extravagant Dinner for 2 - $60

Rating: 4 out of 5

Since I don't really enjoy working - as a general rule, I tend to do things that will help me save money while still living the lavish (by lavish I mean living in my 1 bedroom flat in Toronto that I don't have to share with anyone while still going out to eat and traveling on credit) lifestyle that I'm accustomed to.  To put it simply, if I lived in the US, I would totally be one of those people on extreme couponing!  That shit is wicked!!  Unfortunately due to our coupon rules here in Canada, we can't really do that here. So I've had to rely on the awesome daily deal websites to help me save money while doing super rad things and eating great food!  So a few months back, I had purchased a voucher for Kanji since the menu on their website looked ridiculously delicious!

My friend and I walked up to the door to Kanji which from the outside is pretty unassuming.  We walked in and down a hallway which looked like it went far down and around a corner.  Later, after we ordered we decided to go for a walk to see what was down the hallway only to see that the hallway didn't exist and there was a mirror on the wall.  I felt tricked!  But it was kind of awesome as it made the place look really huge and spacious. 

The service was awesome!  Even though our server was slammed with a large party in addition to his other tables he was on the ball and really friendly and helpful when we asked for suggestions.  Sometimes I go to restaurants in the city and I feel like I'm being a burden on our server.  Pardon me for going out to eat and making you work!  But not here!  Our server was a cute Asian guy who I might have even considered taking home if I was into Asian guys!  But.. I'm not.  So out of the kindness of my heart I let him finish the rest of his shift instead.  

I'm one of those people who asks for recommendations from servers.  Why?  Because they work there, and if they haven't tried the dish itself, they at least know what's popular. So, Cute Asian Server's number one suggestion was a dish called Treasure Island.  It consisted of assorted fish on avocado, topped with fried leeks, caviar, and miso mustard sauce.  I think the fish was tuna, salmon, and maybe butterfish.  The avocado was half an avocado with the seed taken out and sliced while still sitting together as though it were one half an avocado.  The fried leeks were so unusual and added a great texture, and the sauce.... wtf?!  Seriously, this was probably one of the best dishes I've eaten in a while (at least since the Spiced Ash Hamachi with Bruleed Lime & Coconut Dust from Cocktail Parlor.)! I couldn't get enough of it!  If I didn't think I would've embarrassed my guest I would have licked my plate clean! I even dipped some of the other roles in the sauce because it was just that freaking delicious!  

The other roll that was excellent was the sweet potato roll.  I wanted to just shove the entire thing in my mouth it was so delicious!  I'm pretty certain Kanji puts crack in their food!  I honestly felt like I was super high when I was eating.  

The other item we ordered that was delicious was the Seaweed Salad which I believe they make fresh in house. My friend doesn't like Seaweed Salad but decided to try a bite of it anyway.  She certainly ate more than half of it that's for sure.  Bitch.  It was awesome.  And fresh.  And awesome!

I'm a big fan of mango, so we also ordered the Golden Dragon roll which is shrimp tempura topped 

with spicy tuna, mango,  avocado, black caviar, eel sauce, and mango sauce.  It was good.  Nothing mind blowing or out of this world, but good.  Also, we got the Crunchy Mango Shrimp roll.  Skip it. 

For dessert we decided to share the Yuzu Citrus infused Crème Brûlée. I loved the taste.  There were a few little pieces of rind that I loved chewing on, although my friend didn't like that part at all.  The problem was that it wasn't set properly, which ruined it a bit for me.  

All the dishes were presented beautifully with so much incredible detail.  My friend that I was with doesn't own a cell phone.  I know!!  Weird and a bitch.  I didn't want to be all camera phone annoying in front of someone who just wouldn't get it, so I avoided taking photos of the food, but darned I really wanted to!!!

I would absolutely go back to this place again!  I'm still dreaming of the Treasure Island dish when I close my eyes.  If you are craving good sushi, let this be your next stop!

I love this song and I love the video.  I sometimes forget the strength I have to say no when I'm not being treated as I deserve.  It feels really good to stand up for yourself!

My Fear

What I've realized, is that I have forgotten that eventually I have to grow up and start being an adult.  I have to start being responsible for myself, and my life which includes my health, my finances, and my household.  I am terrified.